What a Wonderful World...

A few minutes earlier,
A pain shot through
Memories unwanted
Feelings, old and new

Riding back
An old man on the road
Stops and picks up a pup
Maybe it was gesture of the old
But it touched a chord

Made me think
Of all the things we miss
Caught up in our problems
Thinking of things amiss

The beauty of a full moon
The smell of wet earth after the first rain
An infant smiling that toothy smile
A gesture of a stranger with nothing to gain

You may curse the selfishness or the evil in the world
But the truth remains
If you want to see it
It is a wonderful world.

For You, If You Read This...

Dear You,

I told you that I am difficult. I told you that I do not understand many things. I did tell you that I am a great friend and that I will stick by you no matter what. I am sorry that you think that the manner in which I behaved was otherwise. I did not mean to disappoint in any way. I was being myself but if I had ever thought that my talking to someone inconsequential would affect us, you should know that I would have never done it. This is more important to me than anything else. You have no idea how much you mean. Because I am horribly bad at expressing these things. But I would not let anything ever break this up. I do not think I have the mental stamina to deal with that. You, are, without doubt, the most important person in my life. I hope you would know and believe that.

Loads of Love
Hugs
Me

A Mind is a Terrible Thing...

Ever lamented at the curse of having a working mind? Well, if not, then you are not aware of how lucky you are. There is something that is horrible about having a mind that has multiple thoughts traipsing around at any given point. Every statement made tends to give impetus to a million thoughts; most of them pessimistic. Someone once said that an idle mind is a devil's workshop. Am not sure whether an overactive one is any better. It is worse, according to me. Your brain is always trying to wrap its head around what the other person said. Or if you have a mind like mine, then what the other person is thinking at any given point of time. Sisyphus (who for some reason has become my favorite Greek mythological figure for referential purposes) had it easier pushing the boulder up the hill, or maybe not. After all, he went mad as well...

Silver...

Twenty Five... I am repeating my age to myself again and again but somehow my tongue just rolls over those words like they don't belong. I am not taller (that was overruled by genetic predisposition and well, age), prettier (again, well, genetic combination), but I am slightly more mature I think. I still do not know what I want. But I am aware of what I don't want. For the first time in my life, I am actually okay, in fact, looking forward to maybe one day finding a person, I'll be happy with. There is a belief in love and companionship. Maybe a belief that is tinged by cynicism but it is there. There is also a kind of faith in destiny. There is an awareness of the love that so many people have for me. There is a knowledge that there are very nice people out there. I just need to give them a chance. Life can only be as complicated as you make it out to be. The more you relax, the more you will realize that things will work out. There is no other way out. You know I think I like twenty five. I mean, I may not have changed for the better or the worse but I am closer to knowing what life has in store for me. And somewhere that is comforting... So, here is to a quarter century, ushered in with one of the best birthdays ever.

All that Matters...

I hate it that you read my mind.
I hate it that you know me so well.
I hate it when you say never mind,
When I know in your head, there's hell.

I hate it when we fight,
And in silence, go on with our work.
It takes me all my might,
To not shriek or yell.

I hate it when you do not call,
Or even message at all.
But then you smile that smile,
And well, then it's worth the momentary fall.

I hope you know what you mean.
People may question it and even wonder.
But for us, it is simple,
So don't think and don't ponder.

All that matters is that you care,
Without conditions unfair.
I can cry or whine, or just stay quiet.
You can rant or yell, or despair at everything in sight.
It is these small things that matter,
Our fights and our weird banter.
Inexplicable as it may be,
It works and sometimes amazes me.
I don't need a label or a justification,
I have what I need,
And that is enough of a relation.

Explanation... Maybe

There is a reason I feel the way I do

A reason why my faith falters

A reason why I am so scared

And the reason is you...

It's not your fault

This is new

The feeling, the fear

Everything to do with you

I want to believe that this is mine

I want to believe that my time is here

But two steps forward

And the fear creeps near

Is this my imagination?

Is this an illusion?

Everything seems right

But the questions tend to fright

I am trying so hard

To believe in happiness

I am trying so hard

To let go

You make it easy

You should know

But the road is still slightly dark

And I am still scared to move

So when I am brash or seem insensitive

It is probably just my defense

It is probably just a farce

You mean the world

I just can't say it right.

Whom do you Listen to?

The little voice in your head,
Or the one that rules your soul.
The person you have known for 15 years,
Or whom you met a week ago.
The world at large,
or the parallel universe which you think you belong to.

And why does it have to be one or the other?
Why not a lil of that n a lil of this?
Why do things need to be complicated?

Because we make it so
Because we lack basic comprehension
Because we thrive on misunderstandings
Because we like to believe that we are right
And that the world is out to get us.

No one has the time for you and your silly assumptions
We are all trying and fighting to be the protagonists of our own life
Let us be, and let yourself be
Let calmness engulf you
if not waters of peace

There is nothing much you can do
Nor can you punish yourself
Just let go and live