For You, If You Read This...

Dear You,

I told you that I am difficult. I told you that I do not understand many things. I did tell you that I am a great friend and that I will stick by you no matter what. I am sorry that you think that the manner in which I behaved was otherwise. I did not mean to disappoint in any way. I was being myself but if I had ever thought that my talking to someone inconsequential would affect us, you should know that I would have never done it. This is more important to me than anything else. You have no idea how much you mean. Because I am horribly bad at expressing these things. But I would not let anything ever break this up. I do not think I have the mental stamina to deal with that. You, are, without doubt, the most important person in my life. I hope you would know and believe that.

Loads of Love
Hugs
Me

A Mind is a Terrible Thing...

Ever lamented at the curse of having a working mind? Well, if not, then you are not aware of how lucky you are. There is something that is horrible about having a mind that has multiple thoughts traipsing around at any given point. Every statement made tends to give impetus to a million thoughts; most of them pessimistic. Someone once said that an idle mind is a devil's workshop. Am not sure whether an overactive one is any better. It is worse, according to me. Your brain is always trying to wrap its head around what the other person said. Or if you have a mind like mine, then what the other person is thinking at any given point of time. Sisyphus (who for some reason has become my favorite Greek mythological figure for referential purposes) had it easier pushing the boulder up the hill, or maybe not. After all, he went mad as well...

Silver...

Twenty Five... I am repeating my age to myself again and again but somehow my tongue just rolls over those words like they don't belong. I am not taller (that was overruled by genetic predisposition and well, age), prettier (again, well, genetic combination), but I am slightly more mature I think. I still do not know what I want. But I am aware of what I don't want. For the first time in my life, I am actually okay, in fact, looking forward to maybe one day finding a person, I'll be happy with. There is a belief in love and companionship. Maybe a belief that is tinged by cynicism but it is there. There is also a kind of faith in destiny. There is an awareness of the love that so many people have for me. There is a knowledge that there are very nice people out there. I just need to give them a chance. Life can only be as complicated as you make it out to be. The more you relax, the more you will realize that things will work out. There is no other way out. You know I think I like twenty five. I mean, I may not have changed for the better or the worse but I am closer to knowing what life has in store for me. And somewhere that is comforting... So, here is to a quarter century, ushered in with one of the best birthdays ever.

All that Matters...

I hate it that you read my mind.
I hate it that you know me so well.
I hate it when you say never mind,
When I know in your head, there's hell.

I hate it when we fight,
And in silence, go on with our work.
It takes me all my might,
To not shriek or yell.

I hate it when you do not call,
Or even message at all.
But then you smile that smile,
And well, then it's worth the momentary fall.

I hope you know what you mean.
People may question it and even wonder.
But for us, it is simple,
So don't think and don't ponder.

All that matters is that you care,
Without conditions unfair.
I can cry or whine, or just stay quiet.
You can rant or yell, or despair at everything in sight.
It is these small things that matter,
Our fights and our weird banter.
Inexplicable as it may be,
It works and sometimes amazes me.
I don't need a label or a justification,
I have what I need,
And that is enough of a relation.